WDW: The Music Sham
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: In a parody of the Music Man, a shady salesman comes to the park with hopes of forming a band to replace it's a small world. Cancelled, sadly. It just didn't work. But if you want to see what's left of this scrapped story, read away!
1. Disney World Stubborn

After appearing in a school production of the Music Man last year, it was natural to write a parody of it. Here it goes...

* * *

A plane was landing at the airport. Onboard was a group of salesmen on a flight to Florida.

"Hey," whispered one man, "did you hear about these shady guys who've been seen around the county fairs?"

"Which county?" asked the other man sitting next to him.

"All of 'em! First some guy's seen scamming some folks at the big one in Texas, then there's another one in some little Illinois town!"

"So what are they doing?" asked the second man.

"They're...tricking them! The details are never that clear, but these guys mean business! They rob everyone of their money!"

"I know who it is!" said an odd-sounding passenger sitting in front of them. "And he doesn't know the territory! First of all, it's just one guy!"

"How could one guy get around so fast?" asked one of the men.

"I know him well...he's a sneaky guy...he's gotten me tons of times!" The third man stood up, revealing himself to be Daffy Duck. "He's Bugs Bunny!"

Everyone laughed.

"Bugs!" called someone. "What the heck would he be doing?"

Daffy looked embarrassed. "I...uh...I don't really know." Everyone laughed some more. "Stop it!" cried the duck. "He's crossed me one too many times! I'm getting even with this rabbit if it kills me!"

One stranger in the back, dressed in a concealing coat (I have no idea how he got on the plane) stood up. "What makes you think you can catch him?"

"I just know I can!" hissed Daddy. "All I have to do is wait for him to screw up! I know he will, I just know it!"

Everyone was getting off at this point. Daffy stopped the stranger. "Hey, I don't think I caught your name."

"I don't think I dropped it."

"That was smooth," admitted Daffy. He suddenly did a double take. "Wait a second...I know who you are!"

Daffy chased the stranger, who was heading into the airport. Suddenly, the stranger put up a sign that said "Duck Season." Instantly, several hunters burst out and chased Daffy away, followed by airport security.

"Darn it!" squawked Daffy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About an hour later, the stranger strolled into the Magic Kingdom. Stitch scurried by, chasing Timon.

"Leave me alone!" cried the meercat. "I've gotta get to Animal Kingdom!"

A Cast Member waved to the stranger. "Hi! You're one of the first guests here!"

"Do you always greet people personally?" asked the stranger

The Cast Member lowered her voice. "Only when the supervisors are looking. I hate to say this, but this isn't ALWAYS the most magical job in the world..."

(To the tune of "Iowa Stubborn")

_**Oh, there's nothing halfway**_

_**About the Disney World way to treat you,**_

_**Treat you nicely**_

_**Even if you're a rude slob**_

Other Cast Members:**_ 'Cause we're all getting paid_**

_**And if we ever cease to smile**_

_**Then that costs us cash**_

_**Or even lose our job**_

_**Whereas inside we feel like thermometers in December**_

_**And sometimes we scream in anguish to the sky**_

_**Cause guests are so darn whiny**_

_**They give us the urge to kill**_

_**Or at least to punch them real hard and make them cry...**_

_**But what the heck, our problem**_

_**We're not blaming you here**_

Mickey: **_Just remember please_**

_**To not attack the characters**_

All: **_You really ought to give Disney World a try_**

Thurl Singing Bust:**_ Provided you follow the rules_**

The Hitchhiking Ghosts and Ezra's Cast Member girlfriend, Ariel (not to be confused with the mermaid), were sitting outside the mansion with the bust.

"Hey, Mickey," called Ezra, "did you read our ideas about the Country Bears rehab?"

"I hardly think a gorefeast theme would work!" Mickey called back.

"Hey," shrugged Phineas, "you shamed them enough by making that movie about them..."

Ariel: **_Whereas inside we feel like thermometers in December_**

_**And sometimes we scream in anguish to the sky**_

_**Cause guests are so darn whiny**_

_**They give us the urge to kill**_

_**Or at least to punch them hard and make them cry...**_

Ariel and Haunted Mansion Cast Members: **_But we'll all act polite_**

_**Because the people who don't are**_

_**Dragged off by security and die**_

Ezra: **_Hey, lighten up! They're kidding_**

Phineas: **_Although they're slightly bitter_**

Gus: **_Definitely have some hatred, that there ain't a lie_**

All: **_You really ought to give Disney World_**

_**Good old Disney World**_

_**Pirates, EPCOT, Peter Pan, Hercules,**_

_**Haunted Mansion, Fantasmic, Pooh,**_

_**Simba**_

_**Ought to give Disney World a try!**_

The stranger stared at the chorus in front of him "Uh...that's nice."

"Thanks," chorused the hundreds of Cast Members, who went back to work.

Ezra floated over. "You may think this is weird, but we're surprisingly spontaneous like that."

"Oh, I'm sure," said the stranger, who walked away.

"There's something about that guy..." said Ariel. "The voice, at least."

"You want us to stalk him or something?" Phineas asked hopefully.

"Maybe...he's heading towards Splash Mountain. Since that whole 'saving the park thing,' Mickey lets me work wherever I want, so I think I'm gonna hang out there for a while."

"Okay..." Ezra said sadly as she walked away.

"Ezra?" said Gus, worried about his friend.

Ezra slumped down. "I'm lonely when she's gone...unless I'm distracted by a free trip to Hong Kong or something."

"Hey!" exclaimed Phineas. "What does that make us!"

"It makes you not Ariel! There's one thing to do! Pose as a furry woodland creature!" Ezra raced off.

"You know," sighed Phineas, "saving him from getting fired is a full-time job. Should we go after him?"

Gus rolled his eyes. "Nah, let's take a break and actually do our job for a change."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inside Splash Mountain, the stranger knocked on Brer Rabbit's briar patch door.

Brer Rabbit opened up. "Hello?"

The stranger threw off his coat, revealing a famous cartoon bunny. "What's up, doc?"

"Bugs Bunny!" exclaimed Brer Rabbit. "I haven't seen you in years!"

"Quiet!" said Bugs. "I now go by the name...Harold Hill. But seriously, how's it going? Play any good tricks lately?"

"I managed to get Brer Bear to think he was a woman, but it didn't end well. Don't ask."

"Oh. Uh, moving right along, I've obviously come here for a reason!"

"So it's not to have a drink and reminisce?" Brer Rabbit said disappointedly.

Bugs shook his head. "Far from it. Look, ever since they stopped making my cartoons, I've been bored. So I decided to do what all bored stars do...steal stuff! I've been training on little county fairs, but now it's time to hit the jackpot! Disney World! I want your help! We could rake this park clean!"

Brer Rabbit thought about this. "My morals say no...but my trickster heart says yes!"

"I knew it would!" cried Bugs. "We've gotta get to Main Street! I'll tell you my plan on the way!"

"Okay," Brer Rabbit directed his attention to a passing possum. "How do you do?"

"Fine, how are you?" replied the other critter.

"How you come on?" asked Brer Rabbit.

"Pretty good sure as you're born!" they sang together.

"What was that?" asked Bugs when the possum was gone.

"It's just how we talk around here," explained Brer Rabbit. "You say that to everyone. You'd think it would be tedious, but it's not."

"Well, when in Rome. Can I try on someone?"

"Sure!"

"How do you do?" Bugs asked a female rabbit passing by. She glared at him and left without a word.

"Oh, that's just Marian," assured Brer Rabbit. "She's really..."

"...tight?" guessed Bugs.

"Exactly."

Ariel walked in just after they left. "Dang it! Did I miss them?"

Ezra walked by, disguised as Mr. Bluebird. "I think so! ...I mean, chip."

* * *

If feel kind of bad for leaving out the song "Rock Island," especially after how hard the guys who sang it in the play worked, but I never really cared for the song (in fact, it was the closest thing to rap back then), and felt I could do better without it. "Iowa Stubborn" (or rather "Disney World Stubborn") makes a better opener in my opinion. 


	2. Ya Got Trouble!

Bugs Bunny (still in disguise) and Brer Rabbit strolled down Main Street. "Look," said Bugsm "I've been reading up on a certain ride you guys have here... 'It's a Small World.'"

"Actually," corrected Brer Rabbit, "it's 'it's a small world.'"

"That's what I said."

Brer Rabbit shook his head. "No, you said it with capital letters. The name is lower-cased. We can tell...uh-oh, that's not a good sign about us, is it?"

"My point exactly! Now we've gotta spread the word on the unspeakable horrors and racism of the ride!"

"Racism?" cried Brer Rabbit. "Believe me, I've had issues with that, and there are no problems with racism on that ride!"

"Unless we make some," grinned Bugs. "All we need is a pigeon."

At that moment, Fidget the bat, who was flying by, bumped into Bugs.

"Will a bat do?" asked Brer Rabbit.

"Good enough. Excuse me, good sir."

Fidget fluttered around. "Get outta my way or I'll deck ya!"

Bugs just contiuned smiling. "You're funny, know that? I'll get you a gig in 'Space Jam 2.' But right now, I'd like to direct your attention to a problem at our park." As the rabbit talked, more and more people began to gather around and listen.

(To the tune of "Trouble)

Bugs: Well, either you're closing your eyes

To a situation you do now wish to acknowledge

Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster indicated

By the presence of that "attraction" in your community

Ya got trouble, my friend, right here,

I say, trouble right here in Magic Kingdom

Why sure I love Disney World

Certainly mighty proud I say

I'm always mighty proud to say it

I consider that the hours I spend

At these theme parks here are golden

Brer Rabbit (jumping in): Yes, they're truly amusing

After, all who doesn't like 'em?

Have you ever just taken a relaxing float down Jungle Cruise?

Bugs: But just as I say

There's a fine, fine line between fun and annoyance

I say that any boob can write an insane little song

Drives the kids insane

And turns them against this park

I say, first it's a slight disliking

Then a pure hatred

Brer Rabbit: An' the next thing ya know,

They're boycotting Florida just because of us

And spending all of their time at Knott's Berry Farm!

That very ride could cause insanity!

Not some comic relief stuff, no

But the kind of stuff that leads them to kill!

Bugs: Like to see some guys making fun of us because of one thing?

Make your blood boil?

Well, I should say

Friends, lemme tell you what I mean.

Ya got at least twenty countries in there, all of 'em put to shame

It's a load of crap

With a capital "C"

And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pests!

Brer Rabbit: And all week long your Magic Kingdom

Characters are in anguish

I say all guests'll be tormented

Tormented by away the never-ending painful song

Bugs: Get that thing out of here

Or at least a rehab

Maybe you should replace it with something more fun

Brer Rabbit: Like a gift shop or a bigger bathroom

Bugs: This thing's boring and that's trouble

Oh, yes we got lots and lots a' trouble.

I'm thinkin' from Tokyo to Paris

Hong Kong's gonna get some too

California too

Both: Folks!

Right here in Magic Kingdom

Trouble with a capital "T"

And that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pest

Bugs: Now, I know all you folks are good entertainers

I'm gonna be perfectly frank.

Would ya like to know what kinda things go

Through a kid's head when they get off that ride?

They'll be swearin' in Cuban, swearin' in French

Swearin' in Hebrew, Spanish, Norwegian

Brer Rabbit: And rantin' all about

How much better Universal Studios and

One fine night, they grab a mallet

Sneak into Fantasyland

In the dark and the shadows, they'll smash it up

Resulting in riots, mayhem, terror

Mass-staria!

Bugs: Friends, that ride is gonna be the end of you

Both: Trouble!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Oh we got trouble_**

Bugs: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Bugs: **_With a capital "T" _**

_**That rhymes with "P"**_

_**And that stands for pest**_

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_That stands for pest_**

Bugs: We've surly got trouble!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_We've surely got trouble!_**

Bugs: Right in the Magic Kingdom

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Right here!_**

Bugs: **_If we could shut those kids up_**

_**I think we'd all be blessed**_

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...

Bugs: People of Disney World!

Heed the warning before it's too late!

Watch for the tell-tale sign of corruption!

The moment a kid gets on the ride

Do they frantically try to get the safety harness off?

Do they swim to safety through the water?

Give the finger to one of the singing children?

Did they scream with horror

When their parents ask them if they want to go again?

Are they using certain phrases to the describe this ride?

Words like

Brer Rabbit: Crap!

Bugs: And

Brer Rabbit: It led me to drug abuse!

Bugs: Well, if so my friends

Bugs: **_Ya got trouble_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Oh, we got trouble_**)

Bugs: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**)

Bugs: **_With a capital "T"_**

_**And that rhymes with "P"**_

_**And that stands for pest**_

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_That stands for pest_**)

Bugs: **_We've surely got trouble!_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_We've surly got trouble_**)

Bugs: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_Right here!_**)

Bugs: **_That song may cause death, famine, and even incest_**

Oh, we've got trouble

We're in terrible, terrible trouble

That song that they keep singing has got us stressed

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests:**_ Got us stressed_**

Bugs: Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests:**_ Oh yes, we've got trouble here_**

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests:**_ We've got big, big, trouble!_**

Bugs: With a "T"!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_With a capital "T"_**

Bugs: Gotta rhyme it with "P"!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_That rhymes with "P"_**

Bugs: And that stands for pest!

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: **_That stands for pest!_**

In shock, everyone walked off, thinking about what they'd just heard.

Characters, Cast Members, and Guests: Trouble, trouble!

_**Oh, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble**_

_**With a captial "T" and that rhymes with "P"**_

_**And stands for pest**_

_**Stands for pest**_

_**We've surly got trouble**_

_**Right here**_

_**If we could shut those kids up then we'd all be blessed!**_

"This is good," said Brer Rabbit, "but we've got a certain trio of ghosts that pull this stuff everyday. They'll all have forgotten about it by tomorrow."

Bugs looked disappointed. "Even after the song?"

"Even after the song," sighed Brer Rabbit.

"Well, I'm just getting started!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Marian the rabbit was walking to her house in Splash Mountain. Ariel, still on the lookout for Bugs, waved to her. "Hi, Marian."

"Oh, hello, Ariel. I haven't seen you since you switched your job from Frontierland to that Haunted Mansion."

"Hey," said Ariel, "love makes you do crazy things, right?"

Marian sighed and sat down. "I wouldn't know."

Ariel smiled. "Aw, I'm sure even a tightass could find love! Wait, that didn't come out right."

"I just...I just don't think I have time."

"When you're here by yourself, you have all the time you need. And if you don't mind my saying so..."

Before Ariel could continue, Winthrop, a small rabbit scampered by.

"Winthrop!" called Marian. "Be polite and say hello to Ariel."

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Excuse my brother," said Marian. "He has a lisp and thinks it makes him sound silly."

"It doth not make me thound thilly!" cried Winthrop. Ariel giggled. The rabbit ran away, embarrassed.

"Poor little guy," said Ariel. "I have to help both of you."

"Both of us?"

"We have to get him a bit of speech therapy, and find you a man," Ariel looked up into the sky. "Someone to say goodnight to on the evening star."

Jiminny Cricket flew by holding onto his umbrella. "That's right! Because when you wish upon..."  
Brer Frog, who was sitting by the stream, ate him with the flick of his tongue. He noticed Ariel and Marian staring at him in shock. "What? Don't look at me like that. It's called nature, people. Live with it." He calmly hopped away.

Marian: **_Goodnight, my someone_**

_**Goodnight, my love**_

_**Sleep tight, my someone**_

_**Sleep tight, my love**_

_**Our star is shining it's brightest light**_

_**For goodnight, my love, for goodnight**_

_**Sweet dreams be yours, dear**_

_**If dreams there be**_

_**Sweet dreams to carry you close to me**_

_**I wish they may and I wish they might**_

_**Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight**_

_**True love can be whispered from heart to heart**_

_**When lovers are parted they say**_

_**But I must depend on a wish and a star**_

_**As long as my heart doesn't know who you are**_

_**Sweet dreams be yours dear**_

_**If dreams there be**_

_**Sweet dreams to carry you close to me**_

_**I wish they may and I wish they might**_

_**Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight**_

_**Goodnight**_

Ariel and Marian: **_Goodnight_**

**_

* * *

_**

In our version of the Music Man, Marcellus joined in with "Trouble" which made the scene even better, so Brer Rabbit does so in this version as well. 

Brer Frog eating Jiminny Cricket isn't the only creepy Disney dog-eat-dog thing I've seen. The worst was probably Mickey's Christmas Carol. Apparently, at Nephew Fred's (played by Donald) party, they plan on having goose. Donald's freaking cousin is a goose! Maybe that's why he hasn't been in any other cartoons. Also, Scrooge eagerly rips a leg off a roast turkey. That's some disturbing stuff. Don't the writers THINK about this!

Hey...this is the first chapter I've done in this series without the Hitchhiking Ghosts! A big step...but so sad.


	3. Seventy Six Trombones

The next morning, a few minutes before the park was scheduled to open, Mickey called a short park meeting. Everyone sat in front of the castle, singing the park's anthem:

_**Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?**_

_**M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!**_

"Thank you, everyone," announced Mickey. "I always get chocked up at the end of that one. Now, I've called this meeting because of a certain...musical number...that was preformed over on Main Street last night. Now, if anyone honestly has an issue about..."

Ezra stood up. "Hey! I have an issue!"

"Alright, Ezra," sighed Mickey. "Did you agree with the 'Trouble' song?"

"That? No, I was just complaining about how Jack Sparrow stole my seat when I got up!"

"CAPTAIN Jack," corrected Sparrow.

"And," continued Ezra, "I think he put something in Ariel's drink!"

Sparrow shrugged. "Rum slipped. A complete accident."

Ariel collapsed on top of him. "You're HOT."

Ezra and Jack immediately started arguing.

Mickey tried to get everyone to calm down. "ORDER! Attention! Attention! Stop this right now! In other news, one of our fireworks is missing."

As if answering him, Stitch launched the stolen firework from the sidelines at Mickey.

"AND WHO DID THAT?" shouted the mouse.

Stitch calmly threw Timon out into the crowd. Pumbaa came bounding over. "Timon! I'm so ashamed of you!"

"Oh, come on!" cried Timon. "It wasn't..." Pumbaa jumped on the meerkat, flattening him. "And what was that for!" squealed Timon from under him.

"Sorry, I thought you were trying to get away."

"It wasn't him!" called Daisy. "It was Stitch!"

Stitch ran for it, but was quickly caught and stuffed into a containment tube.

"How about we dump the alien and the pirate into a cage and make 'em fight?" suggested Ezra. "...TO THE DEATH!"

"But then their ghosts would hang around the mansion," Phineas pointed out.

"I just wanna hit them," said Gus.

The Hitchhikers started arguing. Mickey had to break it up again. "STOP IT! Look, I want to wrap this up, so in conclusion..."

"Hold it!" cried Bugs, still in disguise.

"I give up," sighed Mickey.

Bugs: May I have your attention, please?

Attention, please

I can deal with this trouble, friends, with the wave of my hand, this very hand

Please observe me, if you will

I'm Professor Harold Hill

And I'm here to organize an 'it's a small world' band

Oh think, my friends,

How can any dumb song ever hope to compete with a gold trombone

Rah, rah, rah-da-da-da-da, rah-rah

Remember, my friends, what a handful of trumpet players

Did to the famous, fabled walls of Jericho

Oh, the World Fair's boat ride walls come a-tumblin' down

Oh, a band'll do it, my friends

Oh yes I said a kids band, do you hear me?

I say Disney World's gotta have a kids band

And I mean she needs it today

Well, Professor Harold Hill's on hand

And Disney World's gonna have her kids band

Just as sure as the Lord made little green apples

And that band's gonna be in uniform

Johnny, Willy, Teddy, Fred

And you'll see the glitter of crashing cymbals

And you'll hear the thunder of rolling drums and the shimmer of trumpets

Tum-ta-da!

And you'll feel something akin to the electric thrill I once enjoyed

When Gilmore, Pat Conway, The Great Creatore, W.C. Handy and...

...uh...

...and...

...M.C. Hammer?

All came to town on the very same historic day!

_**Seventy-six trombones led the big parade**_

_**With a hundred and ten cornets close at hand.**_

_**They were followed by rows and rows of the finest virtuo-**_

_**Sos, the cream of ev'ry famous band.**_

_**Seventy-six trombones caught the morning sun**_

_**With a hundred and ten cornets right behind**_

_**There were more than a thousand reeds **_

_**Springing up like weeds**_

_**There were horns of ev'ry shape and kind.**_

_**There were copper bottom tympani in horse platoons**_

_**Thundering, thundering all along the way.**_

_**Double bell euphoniums and big bassoons,**_

_**Each bassoon having it's big, fat say!**_

_**There were fifty mounted cannon in the battery**_

_**Thundering, thundering louder than before**_

_**Clarinets of ev'ry size**_

_**And trumpeters who'd improvise**_

**_A full octave higher than the score!  
_**(Everyone starts to march around)

Mickey: Stop! Don't dance! I had some cousins that dealt with a Pied Piper once! It didn't end well! Don't follow this guy! The gates are opening now! The guests shouldn't see this! Listen to me! IT ALL STARTED WITH A MOUSE, REMEMBER!

All: **_Seventy six trombones hit the counter point_**

_**While a hundred and ten cornets played the air**_

_**To the rhythm of 'Harch Harch Harch!'**_

_**All the kids began to march**_

_**And they're marching still, right today**_

The guests stared as everyone marched by. The characters all realized that they were being watched and immediately stopped and went back to work, acting as if nothing had happened.

Mickey angrily sat down on the "Partners" statue. "That Harold Hill is gonna have his own trouble when I figure out what he's up to! I need some people to watch him...things you'd never expect..."

"How about some busts?" suggested George Gracey.

Mickey looked up. "Busts?"

"I have five busts back at the mansion. We could scatter them around the park and have them spy on him. Perhaps they could also get his credentials."

"Hey, that's a good idea," smiled Mickey. "Do you think the Hitchhikers could help, too?"

George Gracey shook his head. "They're not exactly..."

The both turned to see Ezra punching Jack Sparrow in the gut.

"...inconspicuous?" finished Mickey. "Right. Let's get those busts..."

Stitch, meanwhile, had escaped from his container and made a run for it. Pumbaa flattened him, like he had just done to his friend. "He's a lot sharper than you, Timon."

"That's because he's dug his claws into your stomach," sighed Timon.

Pumbaa jumped off, screaming.

Hoping to get someone else on his side, Bugs strolled over. "Say, Stitch, you seem pretty clever."

"So?"

"How would you like to help me with my band?"

"Band?" cried Stitch. "Band for wimpy singing kids!"

Bugs shook his head. "Oh, no. Playing an instrument could develop some good skills for...attacking meerkats and warthogs."

Stitch now was at full attention. "Tell me more."

"I will later, but right now we need to find you a friend."

"Have Lilo," reminded Stitch.

"I'm talking about a lady friend." Bugs turned to a very pretty girl who was dressed like she was out of the 1920's. "Young lady?"

"Were you beckoning to me?" she smiled. "Ye gods! I'm Zaneeta!"

"Uh...right. How would you like to get a personal tour of the park with Experiment 626 himself?"

"Why, sure! Usually, guys avoid me for some reason. Ye gods!" Zaneeta then repeated this several times for no apparent reason.

"Okay, then," said Bugs, trying to shake off the initial weirdness of this girl. "And Stitch? The urge may be strong...but don't kill her."

"Fine..." sighed the alien.

"Gee, that was pretty smart," said Pumbaa. "Maybe a girl will keep him out of trouble. But isn't that a sin against nature?"

"Stitch himself is a sin against nature!" cried Timon.

Brer Rabbit hopped over. "Uh, Bugs, we've got a situation."

"Talk to me."

"Remember Marian?" whispered Brer Rabbit. "I just heard her talking about you. She doesn't believe any of what you just said."

"So what if she's smart?" shrugged Bugs.

"Well, she's the only person here who could actually prove you're a fraud."

"Right. I'll go talk to her." Bugs turned around to see the singing busts waiting for him on a gate. "Hello?"

"We, sir," said one of them, "are the singing busts. We have been sent to ask for your credentials?"

"Credentials?" Bugs realized that he didn't have any. "...uh, could I perhaps hear some of this singing?"

The busts all nodded at each other and sang something about ice cream and being sincere, that didn't really have anything to do with the plot while Bugs ran off to see Marian.

* * *

Who did I play in the show? I was part of Tommy's gang...and then after the other guys left the play for some reason, I was THE gang. The thing is, I'm probably one of the least threatening people in school. I was meant to be sort of beaten up by the others, for comic relief. But then when I became the "big gang..." things were just weird.

This particualr scene means a lot to me in a way. At one rehersal, when I, like Timon, was thrown out into the crowd, the guy playing the constable, not knowing what to do, gave me a full-body assult. Let me tell you, it hurt for a few minutes.

...you know, I really miss that guy...


	4. Final Note

Well, I'm really sorry, everyone, but I just don't want to continue this story. I feel it's sticking too close to the script or soemthing. I just can't seem to connect with it. If you want to know how it ends, everyone lets Bugs stay and the kids of "it's a small world" sing "Seventy-Six Trombones," which turns out to be even more annyoing than the original song. Bugs ends up getting run out of the park AGAIN. Oh, and Zaneeta turns out to be an alien like Stitch ("Why else would I dress this way?")

* * *

Here are the leftover bits I wrote. First, a version of "Sadder But Wiser Girl."

Bugs: **_A girl who makes you come to them_**

_**Wants commitment, marriage, capital M**_

_**The only affirmative she will file**_

_**Refers to marching down the aisle**_

_**No prude-like, feminine, right-wing, wholesome goddess**_

_**No sir! **_

_**You'll never see me fall for them**_

_**I can tell you that right now**_

_**I snarl, I hiss: How can ignorance be compared to bliss?**_

_**I spark, I kick for the lady doesn't like slapstick**_

_**I cheer, I rave for the virtue I'm too late to save**_

_**The sadder-but-wiser girl for me**_

_**No whiny, nagging, stuck-up, snobbish girl, ever**_

_**Not for me **_

_**That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew. **_

_**I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance**_

_**No dewy young miss who keeps resisting**_

_**All the time she keeps insisting!**_

_**No wide-eyed, wholesome innocent female**_

_**No sir**_

_**A ball and chain from which I'm never free**_

_**I duck, I hide, when that female wants to have me tied**_

_**I smile, I grin, when the gal with a touch of sin walks in**_

_**I wish and I want for a girl who's not afraid to flaunt**_

_**The sadder-but-wiser girl's the girl for me**_

Bugs and Brer Rabbit: **_The sadder-but-wiser girl for me!

* * *

_**

Then, there were two versions of "Gary Indiana"

Bugs: **_Good old Albuquerque_**

_**Good old Albuquerque**_

_**Yes, it's sort of quirky but there's nowhere else I'd roam, it's**_

_**Good old Albuquerque**_

_**Good old Albuquerque**_

_**Good old Albuquerque**_

_**My home sweet home**_

And...

**_Orlando Florida_**

**_Orlando Florida  
Shiny all like glittah, it reflectth like polished chrome, it's  
Orlando Florida  
Orlando Florida_**

**_Orlando Florida  
My home sweet home_**

("I don't know what he's talking about, there are plenty of s's!")

**_

* * *

_**

Mickey and his friends finally got to sing with a reprise of "Trouble"

Mickey: You got trouble, Mr. Hill!

Do think it's easy to trick me?

Maybe Donald and Goofy, but not the mouse in charge

I truly feel the need to boast

Why, I've dealt with hitchhiking ghosts

And I can smell a music sham a mile away

_**You'll have trouble!**_

Donald and Goofy: **_Oh, you'll have trouble_**

Mickey: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Donald and Goofy: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Mickey: **_Someone's gonna cry, which rhymes with "Y"_**

_**That stands for you!**_

Donald and Goofy: **_That stands for you!_**

Mickey: **_You're gonna have trouble_**

Donald and Goofy: **_You're gonna have trouble!_**

Mickey: **_Real soon_**

All Three: **_Unless you stop the sham you plan to do!_**

Donald and Goofy: **_You'll surly, surly, surly, surly have trouble, trouble, trouble..._**

Mickey: Don't doubt me, Hill! I may not have proof yet, but the second I find some, just the tiniest bit, you'll be kicked out of here! And then...

_**You'll have trouble!**_

Donald and Goofy: **_Oh, you'll have trouble_**

Mickey: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Donald and Goofy: **_Right in the Magic Kingdom_**

Mickey: **_Someone's gonna cry, which rhymes with "Y"_**

_**That stands for you!**_

Donald and Goofy: **_That stands for you!_**

Mickey: **_You're gonna have trouble_**

Donald and Goofy: **_You're gonna have trouble!_**

Mickey: **_Real soon_**

All Three: **_Unless you stop the sham you plan to do!_**

**_Trouble!_**

**_

* * *

_**

And finally, one of my favorite songs was actually based off of a Broadway demo for the upcoming Little Mermaid show. It was a parody of "Human Stuff," sung by the Hitchhiking Ghosts.

Ezra: **_Say, if you want something real pretty that plays a nice little ditty_**

_**Forget lights that strobe**_

(Phineas: He forced that rhyme)

(Gus: I know)

Ezra: **_Then it'll be absolutely dandy if you buy a little handy fancy carved snow globe_**

(Phineas: Are they really hand carved?)

(Gus: No.)

Ezra: **_Turn the thing upside-down and snow falls_**

_**People say this might bring luck**_

_**A music box'll play songs from balls**_

_**Problem is it costs ya forty bucks!**_

All Three: **_Wonderful stuff_**

_**The Disney stuff**_

_**If you're a buff**_

_**Of Disney stuff**_

_**And being stars, of course we are**_

_**No need for us to bluff**_

_**Because we're great at explanating Disney stuff**_

Ezra: **_And if you really wanna win here better buy a tiny pin here_**

_**They're collectable**_

(Gus: They outnumber the Pokemon, for crying out loud!)

Ezra: **_If this type of thing does catch you, you could crush 'em into statues_**

_**They're erect-able**_

(Phineas: I love that word!)

Ezra: **_Some people go crazy for these pins, for some reason they think they're nice_**

_**Not say they aren't, but we admit**_

_**Like everything, they're overpriced!**_

All Three: **_Wonderful stuff_**

_**That Disney stuff**_

_**Can't get enough**_

_**Of Disney stuff**_

Ezra: **_It's super swell_**

Phineas: **_We'll teach you well_**

Gus: **_And trust us with this one_**

All Three: **_Because learning about this crap is actually quite fun_**

_**Sensible stuff**_

_**This Disney stuff**_

_**None of it fluff**_

_**The Disney stuff**_

_**And heaven knows since we're the pros**_

_**From us you'll get no guff**_

Gus: **_So hoard up all your DVDs_**

Phineas: **_Unsold Tarzan Broadway CDs_**

Ezra: **_But I would refrain from Hillary Duff _**(Just me, though)

All Three: **_This is the stuff that's rarely tragic_**

_**Sometimes it can be real magic**_

_**We know, 'cause we know Disney stuff!!!**_

* * *

Don't worry, I haven't stopped writing these, just this story. Another one will follow shortly, I assure you. Once again, I'm very sorry. 


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